My Father, the Reverend John Stokes was born on the 27th of February 1773. He studied at Christ Church, Oxford, where his mathematical talents and lovable qualities made him a favourite with Dean Cyril Jackson.

Soon after taking his degree he became private Chaplain to John, 4th Earl of Darnley, and tutor to his two sons Edward, Lord Clifton, and the Honourable John Duncan Bligh, and from thence-forward till he died in 1859, he lived at Cobham in Kent; at first at Cobham Hall, and later in a house in the village. After having officiated as curate from early in 1809, he became, about 1814, Vicar of Cobham, which living was in the gift of Lord Darnley. On the 8th of January 1822 he married Elizabeth Arabella Franks, a lady of great personal attraction, and accomplished in music and painting.

My Mother had been left an orphan at a very early age, and was brought up in the family of Mr Hawkins, the master of the Rochester Free School, under the care of his three maiden sisters. She was born on the 11th of August 1792, and was thus in her 30th year when she married my Father, who was then nearly 49.

The marriage was a most happy one: no two people could have been more blessed in their own home, and in the universal love and respect in which they were held by all who knew them.

Their children were born as follows:

In July 1832 I went to my first school, Mrs Giles' in Sloane Street. Mr Giles was my Father's first cousin. The Mrs Giles under whose care I was placed died, and he married again, taking his second wife and all his family to the new Colony, South Australia in the year 1836. I got very ill with brain fever and was only saved by two applications of leeches on my forehead.: my Father took me home in October where I remained until

July 1833 when I went to school at Ramsgate with the Revd. C. Lenny, who had been my Father's Curate at Milton and who on his marriage had set up a school.

In 1834 the first cloud on the married life of my parents was caused by the death of my two sisters from scarlet fever, which later attacked Edward my Mother and myself.

During December 1837 I left Dr. Lenny's, and in the summer of 1838 went to the Rochester Proprietary School, of which the Revd. R. Whiston was then the Head Master.

During the six months that I was at home several weeks were spent at Cobham Hall, where I got to know well my Godfather, the Hon'ble, afterwards Sir John Bligh, KCB, always a most kind friend to me. My bent as a boy was to be a sailor. Whilst at Whiston's school however I used often to spend Sundays with Capt. Harry Sandham R.E. and Mrs Sandham, at Brompton Barracks. He was adjutant at that time of the Royal Sappers and Miners, and he encouraged me to choose the Army as a profession, and to go to the Royal Military Academy at Woolwich and strive to get a commission in the Royal Engineers, for which my turn for Mathematics gave me a chance of success. He also recommended my Father to take the necessary steps to get a nomination from the Master General of the Ordnance for me to go up for examination. Lady Darnley's father, Sir Henry Parnell afterwards Lord Congleton, got me the nomination. He was then Pay-master General of the Forces in Lord Melbourne's Ministry. At that time the Ordnance Corps as they were called - the Royal Artillery and Royal Engineers, were not a part of the Army under the Commander-in-Chief at the Horse Guards but were under the Master General of the Ordnance - though they were attached to the Army wherever there were Troops in Garrison, or in the field. The Officers served on Courts-Martial and took all other Military duties, according to date of commission - and could command the Troops by virtue of their seniority. My Father entered warmly into the recommendations of his much valued friend Capt. Sandham, and acting on further suggestions, moved me to a school at Woolwich kept by Mr Robert Barry, who was one of the most successful of the Masters, who prepared boys for the R.M.A. We used to work twelve hours a day, had very rough meals, plenty, but not much time for them, and a walk in the afternoon was our only exercise. I first met there Edward Stanton and Henry Wray, of the R.E. and Charles Arbuthnot of the R.A. friends of my after-life who have had distinguished careers.

I was at Barry's from August 1840 to May 1841 - when I went up for examination. I learnt Euclid thoroughly and when I left, knew the first six books so perfectly, that I could prove any proposition word by word from the book with the letters of the figures changed. This was Barry's system, and the examiners could not puzzle us: we must have got full marks for Euclid. We also learnt Cubic Equations, which were notgenerally taught, and he put us up to several Algebraic catches which boys often failed to answer correctly.

In June my Father was anxious to know whether I had passed, so he took me up to London by coach and went to the Ordnance Office in Pall Mall to enquire. The clerk whom we saw went to ask the question and I sat anxiously awaiting my fate. Presently he came back, and said "Your son has passed Sir, and I am glad to tell you he is at the head of the list". Our delight may be easily conceived. The dear old man's joy and pride in his boy was great, his face glowed and he took me straight to Barwise's to get my first watch, and a seal with our crest on it, which I still possess.

In the preceding March my sister, Isabella Elizabeth, always called "Pussie", had been born, and my brother Edward and I had stood God-fathers at her baptism.

I joined the R.M.Academy in August. My having passed well had a valuable result, for the thirteen head boys of the list were posted to the third class, and thus gained the six months that the rest of the batch had to spend in the fourth class: this really ensured to me the Engineers. At the first examination we passed over all the residue that we found in the third class and went into the second in Mathematics, most of us, however remaining in the third for Fortification. At the second examination six months later, the same thing occurred again, we went through the Cadets who had been left in the second, and in our third term were in the first class. This entailed upon us a good deal of bullying at first.: the old Cadets hated us for taking their places and went so far as to destroy our books, and subject us to other ill-usage: I came in for a good deal of this, but I was determined not to yield to it. I wanted the R.E. and took the best way to get into the noble old Corps. I worked steadily day by day and thus had no need to cram for the examination. The Cadets who bullied me idled all the term, and worked at night just before the examination to get up the subjects; but my plan was the best, for what is learnt steadily, day by day, is retained, but what is crammed into the head at the last moment is not available when wanted. In my third term I was head of a room, tho' not yet an old Cadet: and in my fourth term I was Senior Under Officer of the Fourth DIVISION without ever having been a Corporal. At the end of the fourth term I was fourth in the class on all subjects combined, and felt pretty sure of getting into the Engineers. I got the prize for German. The last or fifth term, we formed the Practical Class in the Royal Arsenal, where we had separate Barracks, and learnt all practical military work, being exercised in firing heavy guns and going through the work-shops to learn how guns were made and ammunition prepared, and also learning to survey and throw up field-works. At the end of this term we went before a Military Board composed of the Inspector General of Fortifications and the Heads of all the Military Departments at Woolwich, presided over by the General Commanding the Garrison - at that time Lord Bloomfield. The Lieut-Governer of the Academy was General Sir George Whitmore R.E.. The Brigade-Major of Sappers and Miners at Woolwich was my old friend Major Sandham, who with his wife was most-kind to me all the time I was a cadet and invited me constantly to his house. When the Public Day came off they asked my father and mother to be present when the several prizes were given after the viva-voce examination. The dear old couple had thus the pleasure of seeing me receive the sword for good conduct and my commission in the Royal Engineers. As my brother Edward had two months before taking a First Class in Classics at Oxford, where he had been a student of Christ Church, our dear parents' cup of happiness in their two eldest sons was full.

A happy Christmas did we pass together in the old home where Christmas, New Year's Day, and their wedding day (8th January) were always marked with much simple festivity. One of the regular customs was, to sit up to see the old year out - listen to the merry peal of the church bells - earlier in the evening perhaps to the village band - and drink health and good wishes in mulled Elder wine of my dear Mother's making. All our friends round the Edmeades at Nurstead, Cobham, Pennis, and Hazells - the Smiths at Camer and Cobham, the Darnley's at Cobham Hall, the Hulkes at The Hermitage, the Shepherds at Luddesdown, the Braithwaites at Cobham Meadow, the Brenchleys at Wombwell Hall, the Kings at Stone and Longfield, the Formbys at Frindsbury, the Bakers and Nicholsons at Rochester, the Johnstons at Milton and the Lakes at Cobham. as well as all the parishioners sympathized heartily with our dear father and mother in the success of their two sons. The winter was a very happy one to which I look back with a swelling heart when I think that I alone of that happy family in the old Vicarage am now alive and that so many of the friends I have named have gone to their last home

I must here say one word of the happiness of our home circle. My Father was still hale and hearty though over 70 - My Mother at 50 was the picture of what a clergyman's wife should be - active in all good works for the benefit of the large number of men and women in the parish - a bright example to all, a wise friend to those in trouble, and a skilful minister to those who were sick. In the home the tender hearted father and loving mother - patterns of conjugal bliss - made an atmosphere of love and good-will in which their children delighted to be - never so happy as when all together. Edward's merry wit and poetical fancy gilded every subject he touched - Francis kept us all alive by his mischief, the little Pussie was the object on whom we all centred our affection She was through her short life, a delight to all who knew her - a sunbeam in the house. The first to leave this cherished Home - I had to join my Corps at Chatham.

The School of Military Engineering, or the Royal Engineer Establishment as it was then called, was commanded by Colonel Sir Frederick Smith, as director. The adjutant was Capt. George Whitmore, son of the Lieut. Governor of the R.M.A. Capt John Williams taught us surveying. For Field Works and Pontooning we were under the Adjutant.

I found Chatham a very pleasant station, and went through the practical military course of drill, surveying, field works, pontooning &c with great eagerness. It was so near Cobham that I was able to spend much of my spare time there, and could to my great delight join the Cobham cricketers in summer and frequently in winter shoot the preserves of Lord Darnley my contemporary, who had succeeded his Father in the year 1837 - Rochester gaieties too were very numerous then. There were many gentle-folk in the ancient city in my young days, who used to open their houses freely to the young officers of the Garrison, and it was not an uncommon thing to have four or five engagements in the week. We had some good boats on the river too, in which we spent many an exciting afternoon - coming to grief in our dinghies athwart the hawsers of the many hulks of men of war moored in the Medway waiting to be commissioned - or taking fair ladies on boating excursions up the river in the "Flying Sap" - a six oared boat. My great friend and companion in these pleasures of all kinds, was Charles Pasley, son of General Sir Charles Pasley who founded the School of Military Engineering at Chatham early in the century, and was Director of it for some thirty years. Charles Pasley and I had been together at school at Whistons and at the R.M.A. had got our commissions on the same day - and remained close friends till his death in 1890. One of our exploits was to illuminate the old Keep of Rochester Castle one evening for the delectation of a young lady whom we had rowed up the river in the afternoon. On this evening we got a quantity of composition used for blue lights, and by burning it on the floor of the Castle, produced a most beautiful effect.

At the end of 1844 I had finished my course of engineering and was ordered, in February 1845 to Woolwich to join the 9th Company of Royal Sappers and Miners, which was under orders for the Cape of Good Hope. This my friend San&am had managed for me. During my stay at Chatham I had become acquainted with Lieut. Fuller R.E. who had just come home from the Cape: he told me so much of the sport to be had there and the happy lot of a subaltern R.E. who would immediately on landing have forage allowed him for two horses, and a prospect of active service, that my imagination was fired with a keen desire to go there. Woolwich was then the Headquarters of the Sappers and Miners, who were officered by the Royal Engineers. The Corps there was virtually under the command of the Brigade Major, who, was at that time Major Sandham. He quite entered into my desire to go out to the Cape, and got me posted to the 9th Company, commanded by Capt. Richard Howorth. At length in June 1845 passage was found for us in the Barque "Gilbert Henderson" a vessel of some 517 tons, chartered for the voyage to Algoa Bay.

In May I went to Oxford where I met my Father and Mother, who had gone on a visit to Edward.

One evening we dined at Dean Gaisford's, which was the more interesting to me as 1 was introduced to his second daughter Helen, for whom I knew Edward had the tenderest affection.

My Father and Mother went to stay with the Sandhams to see the last of me, but I persuaded them not to accompany me on board; it was so much better to get over the parting and then enter at once upon the many duties to which I had to attend as the only subaltern of the Company.

At his age, my Father who was then 72, could hardly expect to see me again, and I had that weight too on my heart. However he not only lived to welcome me back again from the Cape in 1851, but from the Crimea in 1856 and from the Danube in 1858. Thank God!

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